BOOK REVIEW: Becoming Us
by Beth and Jeff McDord
ABOUT THE BOOK (from Amazon):
He doesn’t listen to me…I don’t understand her…Why do we repeat the same fight?
“Becoming Us helps you understand your spouse via the lens of faith and the Enneagram.” – Ian Morgan Cron, Enneagram expert and author of The Road Back to You
Do you ever feel baffled by the person sleeping beside you? What if your spouse came with an instruction manual? Beth and Jeff McCord, founders of Your Enneagram Coach, have helped over 250,000 people discover their unique personality type and apply that knowledge to their relationships.
Becoming Us pulls back the curtain on marriage and weaves the Enneagram through the lense of the Gospel to reveal why you and your spouse behave in different ways. Beth and Jeff will explain how you can:
Answer the question, “What is my spouse thinking?”Defuse conflict before it starts, especially the same old argumentsStop assuming each other’s motives and make communication workAffirm each other in meaningful ways that matterEnjoy your spouse all over again, even if you’ve loved each other for years
Whether you are preparing for marriage or celebrating a 50th anniversary, Becoming Us will revolutionize the way you view yourself and your spouse. Let Beth and Jeff guide you through the Enneagram and transform your marriage into the powerful relationship that God intended.
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A reader friend shared Becoming Us on social media and I thought it looked interesting. I didn’t know anything about the Enneagram, but I love personality assessments, especially when they help you understand how to relate better with other people. I’ve usually done these in the work setting, but it’s even more fascinating when you can apply it to you and your spouse.
While reading the book, I took a free Enneagram test online to see what I was because I couldn’t figure it out based on the descriptions. I discovered that I’m an Enneagram Type 1 — The Moral Perfectionist. I’m not super thrilled with that label, but everything I read about it feels very much like me.
The book is Christian based, so it’s not for you if that’s not your thing. But I think it’s very helpful in learning why different personality types can clash in marriage and how to understand each other better. The more aware we are that the other person isn’t out to get us or intending to drive us crazy, that they just have a different perspective on things than we do, the better we can relate and communicate with them.
In the first part of the book (139 pages) the authors explain the Enneagram and tell personal stories of how it helped them and others in their lives. The rest of the book is an Enneagram Roadmap which breaks down each Enneagram Type and helps you better your Type and the Type of your spouse.
If you’re familiar with the Enneagram or you enjoy personality assessments like I do (and you are married), I recommend this book! I think it’s very insightful.